I have anxiety and im taking ativan un prescribed please help.?

Ativan is addictive and not the best choice for anxiety and panic attacks and that's why you're self medicating with marijuana. The fact that you want to keep increasing the dose of ativan means you're becoming addicted and you're going to hit a brick wall with it in the future. No matter how much you take, it will eventually stop working for you. Panic attacks are terrifying but by leaving school and hiding out at home to be home schooled only made things worse. I'm sorry but you do need to see a doctor and not hide at home and take pills or you will lose it for sure.